Olivia Lesbian Travel: Lesbian Cruises, Lesbian Resorts and Lesbian Vacations

Come on, Rogue!

KateClinton — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:46:00 GMT

While the American family and our extended international family were whooping it up for the historic Obama victory, I banged pans and wept for joy with the best of them. But I also had that dissociated, not-quite-part-of-feeling I had at family gatherings when I was young. Actually, I have never felt gayer.

Make no mistake. Election night 2008 was an amazing reparative night, a triumphant trifecta signaling the end of Nixon’s southern strategy, the Reagan Revolution and the Bush Regime. If Bush could have considered his first presidential selection and his second slim election as mandates, then we can certainly call the Obama victory a landslide.

It was a landside and it crushed us, as California, Arizona, Florida and Arkansas passed anti-gay ballot initiatives. It was a bittersweet night.

We learned three lessons.

First, progressive straight people do not, will not, see the moral equality of gay people. Except for the efforts of the ACLU, the rights of gay people are rarely championed by progressives. The moral sanctity of their marriage is inexplicably undermined by gay marriage. In the forty years since Stonewall we have achieved only a hollow, virtual equality. Like Sarah Palin, we too can be thrown under the bus.

Second, religion is the opposite of the people. While Black Churches certainly helped pass Prop Hate, the White Churches can not get off Dred Scott free. In an image-burnishing move, multi-wived Mormons poured millions into Prop Hate. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, with its zero experience of marriage, contributed thousands. Democracy and religion are a bad mix.

Third, gay people cannot win if our own people do not care. If gay people remain partially or fully closeted, and do not openly support gay organizations which train those much maligned but highly effective “community organizers”, we will never win full equality. It has been forty years since the Stonewall Riots and we still do not think, yes, we can.

So excuse me, if I seem an ungracious party-pooper, quickly becoming more bitter than sweet. If gay people are not full American citizens, let’s stop paying taxes and re-invest in ourselves. It is past time for pro-active strategies, for our own ballot initiative to make divorce illegal and all divorced people disenfranchised felons. It is time for a general strike or a rainbow flu. Until further notice, all gay people should go rogue.

Fondu

KateClinton — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:12:00 GMT

My friend Sally had a special request for her birthday party – fondu! Get your sticks out, that pot of cheese soup is making a comeback. During the party, I noticed some scary double dipping. It’s the beginning of flu season, but I said nothing. Gals were yacking and dipping bread squares, meat cubes, veggies and I didn’t want to bring them down. I dipped my napkin once by mistake. I was waiting for the pot of chocolate at the end of the rainbow. More dipping of marshmellowish squares and fruit, though I would have been happy to pick the pot off the sterno flame, drop my head back and chug it.

How perfect that the day after the fondu fete, I would fly to Wisconsin, proud home of, you guessed it, the Cheesheads! I flew into Madison, Wisconsin and was picked up there by the director of the Young Theater at The University of Wisconsin, Whitewater campus. Ken Kohberger has produced me in Western Illinois and Keene, New Hampshire. We caught up as we drove through a beautiful fall landscape that reminded me of my upstate New York home. Minus the cheese.

That afternoon I met several LGBT student activists from Impulse, the LGBT student organization and the Pride Center. We chatted about their activism, coming out, campus tolerance and my ancient history. The audience at the show that night in their gorgeous theater was a lovely mix of students, subscription series patrons, faculty and LGBTers from all over Wisconsin. Never say anything less than a flat out rave for Bret Favre, former Green Bay Packers QB. We learn and grow.

The next day it was off to dear old Detroit for a show at the wonderful new LGBT Center in Ferndale, MI. The center is about a year old, a huge improvement over the former space and ably directed by Leslie Thompson. MI has the nation’s highest unemployment rate and is really hurting. Fundraising, a challenge any time, is especially difficult now. But the crowd crammed into the performance space at the center, after taking tours of the many wonderful floors of the building and we squeezed some more money out of them for the Center. I met more of the community of center-supporters at an after-party at a local brewery. I missed the cheese fondu, but met lots of long-time and new followers.

I just wrapped up a month of Super-Tuesdays at the Gotham Comedy Club here in New York. It’s been a month of bad to worse on Wall Street, so it was good to see people come out to the club for a few laughs. It was good to be together.

After twenty months and a billion dollars, it’s finally on to Election Eay. My adrenal system is shot and I don’t think it’s all the fondu! Vote early! Not often. That would make those anti-Acorn nutjobs blow up. Be positive! And plan a Fondu Victory party! Think Yes-Vember. We can.

I Can See Manchuria

KateClinton — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:06:00 GMT

My head feels like the terrorists have won.

Last Friday, we went to a friend’s house for dinner and the debate. My galpal was quickly driven out of the TV room by McCain’s smarmy opening gambit about Ted Kennedy’s hospitalization. Unable to sit still, she nervously cleaned our friend’s kitchen to a gleam it had not seen in years. Her Mrs. Clean efforts did not preclude periodic screams from the kitchen: “Do not agree with John McCain!” “Nail him now with the Savings and Loan scandal.” “Interrupt grandpa now!”

I tivoed the debate plan to play it when it’s time for a thorough cleaning of our own kitchen.

I had thought of sending Obama a case of Red Bull for the next presidential debate. His preternatural calm is highlighted by the desperate tics of John McCain, or as we call him in our house, “God Forbid.” Obama’s calm in the eye of the storm is his nature and as much as I would like him to squash McCain like a bug, it really is not the change he has called for. Despite my own post-debate despair, in many analyses Obama was judged the winner.

Next up is the vice-presidential debate. While Rove and Limbaugh, the diaxis of evil, have their old crank-yanker with the dicey health records hooked up to adrenalized life-support, they have their v-p candidate hooked up to the info-injection machine. She’ll be ready when they pull McCain’s plug, but for now you can just pull her neck string: “Putin rears his head, flies over, in the airspace, where does he go, Alaska.” Their Manchurian Candidate is deemed being-there brilliant. Just as eight years ago when the bar was set low for Bush, if Sarah Palin does not burst into flames, she will be proclaimed the winner.

We are staying home for the v-p debate. I am hoping to get a couple closets cleaned out. Speaking of closets, I predict gay marriage will stand in CA. The zeitgeist will be: Oh for god’s sake, it’s the end of the world, let the gay people get married.

Decided Voters

KateClinton — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:18:00 GMT

On Labor Day, after finishing my summer run of shows, and before one quarter of my tomatoes had turned red, I had to pack up, leave Provincetown and head back to New York. Next summer I either have to plant earlier or find an early ripening tomato. Or not leave.

I loved watching the progress of my tomatoes during our very short New England growing season. I tell my girlfriend I am going off the grid, going to live off the land. She says it will take more than two tomato plants. I’ll keep chickens and pigs. The pigs don’t have to wear lipstick. Maybe a little Covergirl Porcine Glow blusher. Ellen Degeneres is the new face of Covergirl! A real lipstick lesbian! Progress!

Within a few days I was back in the swing of New York City, catching up with friends, seeing movies I’d missed [Burn After Reading – great cast, don’t bother], and ordering Indian takeout. The weather in New York that week after Labor Day was glorious and I was not a happy cabined, cribbed, confined camper. I tried to be gracious, but based on my unconvincing performance, my girlfriend agrees that next fall I should extend in Ptown.

That week I felt like a war correspondent keeping up on dispatches about the Palin bombshell and monitoring the progress of Ike as I got ready to go to Austin, Texas for the Out and Equal Workplace Summit. The annual gathering of LGBT corporate, dare I say it, “community organizers” is getting larger and they are doing amazing work to transform workplaces into safe and thus creative environments for LGBT employees.

The sad irony of the weekend gathering of workplace optimists is that in the next week, their newly diversified workplaces at AIG, Lehman, Hewlett-Packard and Fannie Mae, to name a few, were to be bankrupted, shuttered and sold off, big enough to fail and bail. The riotous spirit of the dinner I emceed had a fin du siecle hysteria about it.

New York, the former financial capital of the world, has lost 20,000 jobs. Each time I ride the elevator in my building during the day, I see more and more unfamiliar faces. They are young men, young fathers on the way on an errand or young women, moms with their own small kids in the middle of the day. Every day is casual day.

It was good to leave New York and do a series of shows at the new RAZZ Room at the newly remodeled Nikko Hotel in San Francisco. The city has been through its share of booms and busts from the gold rush days, to the war years, to the closing of three military bases and loss of jobs, to the dot com bubble and bust. They go on. The city is bustling with life-saving tourists. The US is not a melting pot anymore. We are an outlet mall.

The crowds at my show have the exhausted feel of a warriors fighting on two fronts. Not only are they fighting for the election of Barack Obama, but they are also fighting the insulting nuisance of ballot initiative #8 which will take away the right of gay people to marry. They are organizing, phone-banking, going door to door, volunteering, raising unseemly amounts of money to fight the right.

A couple of people from my San Fransister’s audience told me after my show that I had gone too easy on Sarah Palin. After all the justifiable complaining I did about the sexism in Hillary Clinton’s primary bid, it’s true, I’m having a hard time being hard on Sarah Palin. She is so beside the point. The venal cynicism of McCain’s choice of the inexperienced Palin is on a par with the boldfaced vetting of Clarence Uncle Thomas as supremely qualified for the high Court.

We haven’t got time for Sarah “Operation Distraction” Palin. John McCain, or as we call him in our house, God Forbid, answered a question about Spain with all the loopiness of Miss Teen South Carolina when asked why one fifth of Americans could not locate the U.S. on a map. Such as.

We don’t have time for chain emails about white privilege, or goodbye to all that part three or Palin as Obama’s psychic shadow or crying about polar bear vaginas. We can think all those big thoughts later, when we’re sobering up from the Democratic victory parties. Right now, it’s time to volunteer, send money, fight with undecided voters, vote and win.

LGBT Community Call to Action!

JuliePhineas — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 04:21:00 GMT

With 8 weeks to go until Proposition 8 comes to a vote in the State of California, in effort to strike down the measure we call all members of the LGBT community and their supporters to take action with us!

We need your help to put a face on the lives of those that this proposition affects!! Help us to ‘get visible’ and let our presence as upstanding citizens of this world be seen by all. We need to raise awareness amongst all citizens of the good State of California of the need to stand up for equal rights by vowing to Vote NO on Prop 8 on the up and coming Election Day, November 4, 2008. We call all who support equality and fairness to help us "Personalize Prop 8 across the State!"

You can join us in taking action every weekend (Saturday and Sunday) from now until Election Day on November 4th, to “get out and about” in your community!

The idea behind this LGBT Community Call to Action is to put a familiar face on the LGBT community and give those in the heterosexual community a chance to interact in daily life with those that the measure would directly affect.

Here are Some Ideas for What to Do Over the Weekends :

• The number one recommended way to become more visible on your community is to visit your local McDonald’s one day each weekend until Election Day, November 4th. McDonald’s is a highly recognized and popular business that is located in most communities across the state, country, and planet! Many locations offer a McDonald’s Play Land if you have children, plus you can find many choices on their menu to fit your lifestyle and budget. McDonald’s is a corporation who has recently shown their support to the LGBT community by joining the NGLCC. Visiting your local McDonald’s over the weekend is a great way to get highly visible in your community, and is one way that we can show support for a corporation that supports our community!

• The next way you can become more visible in the fight against Prop 8 is to get out and about in other ways such as attending birthday parties and weddings, going to the mall or movies, taking your laundry to the laundry mat, walking your pets, grocery shopping, or take your kids to the park. Visit straight friends and family members and tell them why you are making it a point to get out and about, and let them know how important their vote is to you this Election Day. You could even just drive, ride your bike, roller skate, or just go for a walk around your neighborhood!

• Take it to the next level! Purchase “No on Prop 8” tools and merchandise to wear while you are out and about in the community or hanging out at McDonald’s. You can put a bumper sticker on your car (or window decal), wear a No on Prop 8 t-shirt (men’s here and women’s here), or a No on Prop 8 button.

• Want to take it even further? Report your experience from the weekend or your visit to McDonald’s on social news websites like iReport or on your personal blog! Download the NO on 8 ToolKit here for good examples.

Even if you don’t live in California or are not a member of the LGBT community, you can still help in the fight to strike down Proposition 8 on Election Day!

You don’t have to be married or planning to get married to vote for freedom, equality, and fairness for all by voting NO on Proposition 8. Everyone can and should support equality for all in any way that they can… it could be your rights that are up for debate one day! We are all in this together.

Here Are the Ways That You Can Help:

• In California – Visit your local McDonald’s to show your support for our efforts every weekend until Election Day. You can let us know about your pledge to Vote No on Prop 8 by utilizing the tools mentioned above, and/or reporting your experience on iReport or on your personal blog. Above all else make sure that you register to vote and Vote NO on Proposition 8 on Election Day, November 4th.

• All Over the U.S. – Sign the Million for Marriage petition by clicking the banner below:

• Around the World - Voice your opinion about gay rights and let’s open up the conversation to discuss equality worldwide. Comment and discuss the issue on your favorite social networking websites, message boards, or even write your local newspaper. You can also join the fight in our efforts to strike down Prop 8 by joining the NO on Prop 8 web pages on MySpace and FaceBook.

Wherever you are, please pass this message on!

Re-post, forward, or link to this post and spread the word to help in the fight.

Every vote counts, and every vote matters...

Mourning Sickness*

KateClinton — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:20:00 GMT

A while back, I was talking with my sister on the phone and told her the news that our niece was moving back east, and she practically hissed, “Fierce!” Then, to my confused silence, she explained, “That’s Christian Siriano from Project Runway.”

Though my sister is a rabid anti-TV person, she is a passionate seamstress. Her guilty pleasure is Project Runway. She is now a Christian Sirianist.   Of all the things I have done in my darling career, she was most impressed when I sent her a picture of the kind-hearted taskmaster of the show, Tim Gunn, and me at a fundraiser. Desmond Tutu could not have gotten a bigger reaction.

Until this summer, I had never seen Project Runway. At a lovely wedding dinner for two couples that had exchanged vows earlier that day, suddenly everyone was up and exiting before the cake was even rolled out to be cut. I asked the preternaturally hip fourteen-year old son of one of the couples what the heck was going on. He gave me a look that made me feel even older than I did getting a texted v-p announcement from Barack Obama and said, as he quickly left, “Tonight is the drag queen challenge on Project Runway.”

Except for a few dazed straight people wandering the streets like some post-nuclear family survivors, the streets of Ptown were deserted as I rode my bike home. The town had a personal stake in this PR episode. Two of our very own drag performers, Hedda Lettuce and Varla Jean Merman were on the show.

Though I wasn’t sure of PR’s format or point system or what accent Heidi Klum was doing, I was immediately hooked.

Thus far, I have seen maybe four episodes, but from what I’ve seen, if the world doesn’t end before the next presidential election, may I suggest we model our next national contest on Project Runway? Just as I am one of the last to know about PR, or to try online banking, I’m sure someone has already pitched this idea. It’s so obvious.

Wouldn’t you prefer a PR spinoff to the format we have now - endless primary campaign season, billions spent, Republican and Democratic circuit party conventions? It would be an eight-week season.   Both parties would have four weeks to pick their contender, then four weeks for them to go up against each other.   They would compete in individual and team competitions. The challenges would vary week to week.

To be read with a Heidi Klum accent:

This week you must work with a US military and Iraqi civilian team to plan the withdrawal from Iraq by 2010. You will not be allowed to leave an occupying force or to send the troops home by way of Afghanistan.

This week you must design your own solution to our nation’s health care crisis. You will work with insurance companies and four people with chronic illnesses. Each can afford only $3 in co-pay.

This week you will work with the Army Corps of Engineers, the dreaded community organizers and what’s left of the infrastructure of New Orleans to draw up a plan for the restoration of the delta. You cannot rely on casino funding.

This week your assignment is to design a plan to reduce the US dependency on foreign oil by 50% in the next five years. You will be penalized for wearing fake hard hats and shrieking Drill, Baby, Drill.

Your final challenge, for the win, is to outline your plan to bring Dick Cheney and George Bush to trial before an international War Crimes Tribunal. You have two years to accomplish this. It doesn’t count if you go to jail instead of them.

You get the idea. Presidential candidates don’t have to like the challenges; they just have to do them. We’d get to see them in action as problem solvers, deciderators, managers, leaders and not just speechifying campaigners. Then we’d all vote. I believe we have the technology to do it with our TV remotes. Press select.

I’m going to try to get this on the ballot in California as an election reform initiative.

*This is a Palin-free space. After the Republican White Party, I thought we could all use a break. And I am sure this nausea will pass soon.

Remember Del Martin

KateClinton — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:18:00 GMT

The Republicans just finished up their White Party and Friar’s Club Roast. It was like their Houston Convention, point oh hate. All they’ve got is derision and cheap shots. After eight years as Designated Bush Watcher, I am cranky, whiny. Weh weh, I can’t bear to watch. Can’t I just do knock knock jokes? Poor me. Then I remember Del Martin. She was an amazing, dare I say it, “community organizer” for our LGBT rights. For at least 60 years. How did she do it? Who cares? She just did it. In loving memory of her courage and passion, I’m quitting my whining right now and getting back to work.

Olivia Cruises - Olivia Connect- Olivia Community!

JuliePhineas — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 07:22:00 GMT

Olivia is a company offering a variety of services for lesbians, founded by Judy Dlugacz as a women’s record label in 1973.

Since then, "The Olivia Companies" have continued to expand to include Olivia Travel, Olivia.com, and now an Olivia Community in Tucson, Arizona. Olivia Travel offered its first all-woman cruise in 1990 and remains the only company in the world offering cruises that cater only to lesbians, according to Wikipedia. In 2007, Olivia.com launched with an exclusive social networking community for lesbians online, which now has members from all over the world. The Olivia.com website says "Olivia seeks to create memorable community experiences and Olivia.com is an extension of that mission." Now, The Olivia Companies have brought to life another memorable community experience with an Olivia Community, which looks to be one more Olivia success!

“Olivia was created to serve a lesbian market that ranges from women who must live quietly in suburbia, to women who have the freedom to walk the streets holding hands. I am extremely blessed to have been part of this amazing experience. When the company launched 35 years ago, I never dreamed Olivia would become the company that it is today,” says Judy Dlugacz, President and Founder of Olivia.

According to the Olivia.com website 98% of the women who travel with Olivia Travel return.

This is due largely to the fact that Olivia cruises include exclusive entertainment for lesbians which includes popular celebrities such as Melissa Etheridge, kd lang, Heart, Belinda Carlisle, The Go Gos, Indigo Girls and Paula Cole; sports stars such as Sheryl Swoops, Martina Navratilova, Billie Jean King, Rosie Jones and comedians like Margaret Cho, Whoopi Goldberg, and Lily Tomlin. The lesbian travel company prides itself on “featuring both international superstars and the latest up-and-coming performers, thereby catering to a wide cross section of women”. Most recently, Olivia rolled out its Sistas at Sea™ and Sistas at Play™ programs for lesbians of color; and in April 2008, one of the stars of the popular lesbian series "The L Word", Leisha Hailey, signed on as Olivia’s spokesperson and voice to the company. Leisha Hailey attracts fans of The L Word to the Olivia brand, including users of their official social network online, OurChart.com. The L Word features the cruise line in some of their episodes, highlighting the fact that Olivia is part of the lives of most lesbians who love to travel.

You can read more about what it’s like on an Olivia vacation on About.com here or watch a YouTube video commercial for Olivia.com below:

You can find a social networking community on Olivia.com called Olivia Connect.

This portion of their website allows lesbians online to network and communicate, find out more about Olivia and its lesbian-friendly partners, and talk about their trips with Olivia Cruises. You can also find Olivia Voices which are blogs by lesbians online sharing their voices on different topics of interest to other lesbians. There are plenty of discussion groups on Olivia Connect as well, which helps connect like minded lesbians to discuss their passions and interests in a safe online community environment. You can find lesbian discussion groups on a variety of topics, and that link is here.

Keeping to true Olivia style of creating "memorable experiences for the lesbian community", Judy Dlugacz has announced the company’s expansion in the lesbian market with a new Olivia Community in Tucson, Arizona.

Here is the email from the President and Founder of The Olivia Companies announcing the arrival of the new Olivia Community:

Dear Friends,
I have very exciting news for you, for we are once again about to make history together! I would like to welcome you to the first resort-style community intended for lesbians.
We have shared a dream that has finally become a reality: to create an Olivia residential community where you have the opportunity to own a condominium as your principal residence or as a second home for vacationing. We are taking action RIGHT NOW to bring you this once-in-a-lifetime experience to purchase a condominium in our Olivia resort-style community, with move-in dates as early as this fall.
We announced the community about two weeks ago, and already have over 10,000 women seeking more information, and over 45 who have sent their deposits and begun the purchasing process. This is a remarkable response!
The property is located in Tucson. Rachel and I have visited the property and Tucson to get a sense of what the area has to offer. We agreed that Tucson is a perfect location for our community. The price is right, with condos ranging from high $100,000’s to mid $300,000’s; the size is right at 344 units; and the beauty and warmth of the desert is undeniable. The grounds are open and spacious and already feel like a resort setting. The community is situated just a short walk from great shopping, restaurants, a movie theatre complex and an upscale indoor mall. There are also incredible facilities nearby for golf, tennis, biking, and hiking and the city hosts numerous cultural events as well. Three major baseball teams conduct their spring training in Tucson.
The lesbian and gay community is strong here, enjoying the support of a LGBT-friendly City Council, domestic partnership laws, and a large gay community that is both socially and politically active. You’ll find gay cafés, bookstores and restaurants and Tucson's own LGBT Community Center, Wingspan.
Back in 1990, when I first decided to create the cruises, I appealed to you, our Olivia community, and said I had chartered a ship and I needed 600 people to reserve within three months. In the first three months we had sold out our first ship and we were on our way to filling our second one. Why? Because there was a need in our community for a place where we could all be completely free and open. You trusted Olivia to make that happen. We are here again. We are creating a home for you that is reflective of the Olivia experience.
Every condo will be upgraded with granite slab counters, premium carpets, porcelain tiles, your choice of paint colors and much more, so every unit feels like you are on vacation. Even though the complex already has expansive lawns, a resort-style pool, a fitness center, and a social clubhouse, we are adding a saline lap/soak pool, more Jacuzzis and barbeque stations. We’re also adding a fitness training course and a dog run/park for little Toto!
Step inside the dream of a life shared together, day in and day out, in comfort and openness. Your immediate action will make Olivia Communities, Tucson happen. We must reach 400 fully-refundable $10,000 deposits (that will be placed in your own individual, interest-bearing escrow account) in order to secure the complex. And speaking of price, your purchase into Olivia Communities, Tucson includes the great entertainment and activities you have come to expect from Olivia!
We have been having an enormous response, even during this economic slowdown. This is the time to buy. This is the time to take advantage of an opportunity we may not see again for a long while.
Please take a look at the website today at www.oliviacommunities.com to see what we mean about the uncompromised beauty of our new home, or click here to have one of our community consultants call you. We have a wonderful sales team that will answer your questions and loan brokers are in place to secure the best rates for you. You can also call our wonderful community consultants directly at 888.855.8649. This is a “first come, first served” opportunity, so send in your deposit now and have the best choice of units!
I have spoken to thousands of you over the years about an Olivia residential resort community concept, and the response has always been overwhelming. If you dream of a place where we can all be together, creating a fabulous community with the magic of Olivia right where we live, then please join us.
My promise has always been that I would only create a community I would personally want to live in. Rachel and I will be buying our own condominium in Tucson. Many of my friends have already expressed interest in buying with us and I encourage you to forward this message to your friends. But please remember, we only want fun-loving, fabulous folks!
So, what do you say?
I hope to see you in Tucson soon!
Much love,
Judy

You can read more about the project at http://www.oliviacommunities.com/.

There is also a discussion group on Olivia Connect that is dedicated to the Olivia Community in Tucson where you can learn more and discuss the project with others online. You can find that here. I was extremely excited to learn that the first resort community for lesbians became a reality, and I suggest that those who are in the market for a new condo take a look at what the new Olivia Community has to offer.

I look forward to the continued expansion of The Olivia Companies, and the success of all their projects in the lesbian market!

I hope that you enjoyed this article and learning more about what Olivia has to offer lesbians worldwide. Thanks for reading and maybe I'll see you on an Olivia Cruise some day soon. Stay well in the meantime, and thank you for visiting ;0)

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.

Infrequent Flier Smiles

KateClinton — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:34:00 GMT

I am pleased to announce I have accrued no frequent flier miles this month of August. I have filled my 1998 Jeep’s gas tank once and that was because there is something wrong with the gas gauge and John, my mechanic’s fix was, “Aw, just don’t let it go under half a tank and you’ll be fine.” I have enough frequent biker miles to get new flip-flops. But mine are perfectly grooved to my feet. I have a very small carbon footprint.

My road most traveled is from my house in the mid-west end of old Provincetown either to work, to the post office, to the beach, to the dunes. I bought my bike years ago at a year end Ptown Bikes sale. It is still labeled #10 for their rental records. It has big sturdy handlebars, a big bike seat that absorbs all rain. It has one speed – me. The brakes are in the pedals. I share the bike with my neighbor. Sometimes he sprays WD40 on the rusting chain. He rides it all winter. Old Number Ten we call it. It has outlasted two other fancy schmantzy over-geared bikes, ruined by salt air and sand.

My un-mapquested route to work, takes me by my neighbor Gordon, the town barber sitting on his deck. “Hi, Katie,” he says, “have a good show, dahlin.” I’m Katie to all the old Ptown Portuguese guys. I ride by my favorite Tips for Tops’n restaurant/commissary where his wife is the cashier, and breathe in the fried scallops as I pass.

With the gorgeous bay glinting with less and less light each evening, I turn onto Commercial Street. Past late caffeine crowds at Joe’s Coffee; the West End Salon bubble machine doing its Lawrence Welk best; nearly naked boys doing last minute flyering outside the thumping music from the Boat-slip t-dance; past Spiritus with returning, starving beach bunnies carbo-loading pizza just to get to their guest houses; past early birders at Front Street; past little kids in the tiniest crocs picking through intriguing sale bins outside the Army/Navy Store; past the barkers for shows at the Unitarian Church and on into the entertainment complex of The Crown and Anchor. It takes me five minutes to get to work, if I don’t stop to talk with anyone.

Now when I come out from my shows, the sun has already set. The sky is often pyrotechnically pastel on the Pilgrim monument. We are heading into the big Carnival and Labor Day weeks, two weeks of flat out fun for tourists and the last laps for tired workers. Back to school ads have been out for weeks. The nights are cool. I am experiencing that unnatural fondness for knee socks that just the word "September" brings.

Songs About My Wife

JuliePhineas — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 07:51:00 GMT

One of the things that my wife and I have in common is our love of music.

We have used music to communicate with each other throughout our relationship, and whether the person singing the song is a male or a female, we seem to be able to extend our voice to each other through different song lyrics. Through the years there have been many songs that make me think about my wife, or that we have ‘dedicated’ to each other for one reason or another. Now that we have been together through some thick and thin times, there is a whole collection of songs that we call ‘our song’. *smile* I thought it would be fun to put together a playlist of ‘songs about my wife’ and so I headed over to my favorite site for music playlists which is Project Playlist.

It was a really interesting experience to put together this particular playlist, because there aren’t many songs out there by women that are to or about women.

The songs that I did add to my playlist are by men and women who seem to be singing to or about the opposite sex. I guess this doesn’t bother me too much, because being a lesbian gives me a bit of a male perspective to accompany my female perspective. I do prefer to listen to love songs that are by women who are singing to or about no particular gender, such as Floetry, but I do find that I identify a lot with men singing to women, such as Earth Wind and Fire. In any case, you can find the playlist I made with Songs About My Wife on my blog here.

It really took me down memory lane to put this playlist together, and wifey too!

I hope you enjoy the songs and get a kick out of some of the songs that I consider to be ‘our song’. Maybe you will find a new favorite! I plan to add new songs to the playlist as our relationship continues to grow, and we get old together, so feel free to bookmark it for your lesbian listening needs. *smile* Take care and thanks for reading!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more about her and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.

Don't Hold Your Breath

KateClinton — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:01:00 GMT

I have my Summer Olympics Tivo set for Dara Torres. No pressure. I am gay for Dara. I know she wants me. The Natatorium is an indoor venue isn’t it? All those new billion dollar Chinese sports complexes look like gossamer, erector sets in the hands of young methed architects. I do not want my slightly asthmatic, darling Dara sucking in bad air in her freestyle sprints , or her goggles getting all smogged up. Unless I do it.

Gray skies are gonna clear up. Not really. No matter how many odd/even car use days the Chinese government imposes or how many southern factories they shut down, they cannot do anything about the sandy particulate blowing in from the fourth largest dessert, the Gobi. Get out those old Gobi boots. It is deep.

Put on a happy face. George has left the country to attend the Summer Olympics; it is #29 on his Bucket List. We are told he is attending just as a spectator. How else would he attend? As a competitor? Although who would not want to see someone broadside him in a BMX open field event? Can’t wait to see him high-fiving President Hu Jintao in the stands – “Heckuva job, Hooey.” I am already sick of Bob Costas.

While Barack Obama was on his Olympian tour, and the crowds were going wild because he was not Bush, John McScary hired some old Rovians for his Presidential “Embrace Your Extinction” Tour. Within days the Straight Talk Express became the “I Know You Are, But What Am I?” Digress. They dragged out Paris Hilton, Britney Spears. In addition to accusing Obama of personally running up gas prices and losing the war, they accused Obama of being black and running for president. So far they have stopped short of calling him an uppity Negro who does not know his place. So far.

While the Bread and Circus Product Placement Olympi-ad mercifully distracts some from crashing banks, anthrax cover-ups and sub-penis envy, I am doing last minute lobbying of OOC for larger time clock numbers at the pool for my myopic 41 year old naiad shero. Let the Games begin.

My Lesbian Wedding Part Three: Our Big Day!

JuliePhineas — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 12:48:00 GMT

After a short period of plotting and planning my lesbian wedding, the plans for our big day on June 17 were still up in the air.

I am happy to report that Gina and I were able to get married, and what a beautiful, hectic, and emotional day it was! There were a lot of media cameras present during the morning and at our wedding ceremony, and some of our closest friends and family were able to share cake and champagne in the evening to celebrate. We filled out our application for a marriage license online as soon as they were officially available to same-sex couples on June 16. We could then pick up our marriage license the next day at 8am from the Los Angeles County Clerk in Norwalk. We left the house at 5am and headed over to the courthouse with Gina’s sister Yvonne and her cousin Connie. Once we had the marriage license we could schedule our wedding ceremony there at the County Clerk's Office. We were hoping to be one of the first few couples in line. Since there were only a few couples when we arrived, we were positive at that point that June 17, 2008 was going to be our big day!

I planned to keep everyone posted throughout the day, but I forgot my cell phone at home, and I planned to take lots of pictures but my sister in law left the camera back home too!

There was a reporter from the Whittier Daily News who took our picture and asked us a few questions. He was very nice. As we stood in line we chatted with the couples that were around us and heard a lot of different stories about being gay and what gay marriage meant. We were the fourth or fifth couple in line, and we were within earshot of the first couple in line who were being interviewed constantly. Gina and I were interviewed by KTLA Channel 5 here in Los Angeles, live on their 7am show. A lot of our friends and family told us that they saw us that morning being interviewed. I don’t even remember what I was asked, I was so nervous! I just remember saying that there are a lot of gay families in California, and that we wanted to have the same rights as a family started by straight couples. We met a couple who were avoiding the media, and saw some other couples dodging the cameras as well. There were also couples being interviewed repeatedly by the press covering the event, including a lesbian couple who had been together for close to 40 years. We chose not to have the kids with us because we were worried about protesters, but there was only one, and she didn't have anything to say, she just held a sign a few feet away from the line. Yvonne took as many pictures with her cell phone as she could, and Gina's mother and brother were able to make it over to Norwalk for the ceremony with a camera, so there are a handful of pictures we were able to gather from the morning of our big day:

At 8am we all cheered as the County Clerk's office officially opened and the line began to move.

There was a bit of a mix up with the line and we were led around the back of the building, then back around to the front. There were other people doing business, and some of the workers at the windows were volunteers going slower than others. Some couples were getting ceremonies ahead of the others who had waited ahead of them in line, it was hot and people were sweating and getting cranky but we all just laughed and were still excited about what was about to happen. We were so nervous about getting our ceremony and others getting ahead of us and booking up all the ceremonies for the day! If we couldn’t get married there we would have to try to go to the mass wedding in the Gay and Lesbian Center in Long Beach at 7am or plan a totally different day and ceremony. Luckily we wound up with wedding ceremony #4! As we proceeded to the waiting area for our wedding ceremony, we were each given a rose and some birdseed for after our ceremony from The Unitarian Universalist Church of Long Beach (website) which was very nice of them. Even though there weren't hundred of couples lined up to get married, the atmosphere was very hectic and busy. The press was actively photographing, interviewing, and broadcasting from the waiting area, and we could hear cheering as the first same-sex couple, Bonni Millon and Chelsea Thompson, were officially married. There were also straight couples waiting to be married, and some couples who had been directed to the wrong area. There was a bit of chaos as different numbers were being called out of order. We quickly made friends with the gay couple who had ceremony #3, and kept our eyes on them to know when it would be close to our turn. Some of the workers weren't sure how to handle the process, and some couples were being married before others. I was so nervous! I didn't want them to accidentally skip over us and I was sweating - I felt like my makeup was wearing off and my hair was frizzing! Other couples were getting frustrated also and we all chatted about it but stayed patient. While we were waiting we were interviewed by a news station that is broadcast in Spanish on Channel 62.

After a while Gina asked somebody what was taking so long and they said they needed couples with all of their paperwork done.

We showed our paperwork, and so did the other couples who had been waiting patiently and after that, the process moved quickly. We were called into the tent to have our wedding ceremony, and we allowed the press to follow. Gina and I, her mom, brother, sister, and cousin, plus Fox Channel 11, Spanish Channel 62, and an unknown photographer were all present as we exchanged vows, shared a kiss, and were declared "spouses for life". Gina and I exchanged flower lei's since we have our rings already, and we held hands and gazed into each others eyes through the short and sweet ceremony. I was filled with emotion as we exchanged our wedding vows, and was very proud to be able to have this experience with Gina, who was now officially my wife... we shared our first few moments as wives kissing and hugging each other, and feeling the moment that our lives were joined as one.

Then there was cheering, crying, and applause, hugs, kisses, and then there was paperwork. Everyone was so excited for us, and everything felt like a dream! The officiant of our ceremony was Nicole Curran, who was a volunteer and we were her first couple to marry so she was excited too. We took pictures, and rushed out and away from the cameras. Nicole gave us some final instructions and paperwork, and we were on our way. Here are the pictures taken during and after our wedding ceremony:

On our way out of the wedding tent we were interviewed and photographed a bit more.

We did a brief radio interview and took some pictures under the gazebo at the photo area. A few photographers snapped some shots and gave me their card to get copies of the photos. People handed us fliers for catering, custom cookies, and wedding services, plus we were solicited for donations to help fight the attempt to ban same sex marriage in California in November. When we got home we started text messaging our friends and family and fielding phone calls from people who had seen us on TV. Our neighbor sent over a nice bottle of tequila and their congratulations since he and his family had seen us on Channel 62. Gina and our good friend Efren began gathering the goodies such as the cake and champagne, and I changed out of my skirt and heels into some jeans and slippers, since I had been on the go all day. The kids got out of school a little after noon, and they were excited to hear all about how the morning went and how we were on TV. A few hours later my sister and her husband, Gina's parents, and a few other siblings and close friends who had heard about our big day began to come over to the house. My father's new wife was able to make it, and apologized as she told me how my father refused to come. I didn't let it get me down, and was happy when she told me that she doesn't share the same views that he does and wished us the best. My father-in-law made a toast, my older sister made a toast, and Gina and I said thank you to everyone for being there, and a small prayer for my mom who was still in the hospital. Gina and I cut the cake with the kids as a family, and we let them help us feed each other a piece of the cake. The kids were very happy and a lot of the family told us they were proud of us. One cousin asked why it was so important for us to get married that day, and I made a small speech about how important marriage rights were for our children, and for the security of our family. (But if you ask Gina, she’ll tell you that we got married because we love each other and want to be together for all eternity!!! lol)

It was a monumental day for us because we were waiting so long for a chance to have our big day. It felt great to know that we, as a lesbian couple, now have the same basic marriage rights as a straight couple, and our children have certain protections because of that. We all held our glasses high in a toast to celebrate.

Family and friends who had heard the news kept on coming by to pay their respects through the evening and we even cracked open the bottle of tequila!

Our other neighbor heard the news and she put together a nice wedding night gift with new robes and handcuffs and a pair of 'romantic' dice! It was a very tasteful and thoughtful gift, and it was very sweet of her to put that together for us. Gina and I chatted with our guests, and snuck little moments together to cherish the experience we were having together. The kids were running around happy with the guests and cake, and it felt great to have so much support for our relationship. I still wished my father had come to his senses and been there to offer a toast as well, but I didn't let it get me down and I sent a piece of our wedding cake home with my stepmother for him. At about midnight everyone had gone home and the kids got cleaned up and tucked in. We laughed as we put on our new robes – they were so soft and plush. After such a looong big day, we fell asleep where we landed in our soft new robes, for the first time as Mrs. and Mrs. Phineas.

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.

Ptown GPS

KateClinton — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:15:00 GMT

One of the big controversies in Provincetown this summer involves complaints by fifty-third generation descendants of Puritans about nudity and public sex in the far reaches of the Herring Cove Dunes. The good news is that my worry that gay marriage is a straight conspiracy to stop gay sex is apparently and happily unfounded.

For those of you who would, of course, like to know the exact coordinates of the sexual activity, check your GPS, Gay People Sex. And don’t forget: if it’s three, let it be. The poison ivy, not the ménages. The poison ivy leaves are just turning a very helpful red alert.

The National Park Rangers can divert giant over sand motor home behemoths just by putting up the flimsiest of strings and posting “Piping Plover Nesting Area” signs. People honor those areas. My suggestion is that the over-worked and underpaid civil servants rope off sexually-active areas of the dunes and put up “Gay Sex Frolicking Area” signage. After the initial posting, there would be no need for time-consuming beach patrols.

Everybody sing: [to the tune of “Oh, the farmers and the ranchers must be friends"] “Oh the gay folks and the Puritans must be friends.”

The rangers have better things to do with their time. On a recent high tide, made higher by the pull of a full moon, an elderly woman was stranded on a spit of sand and called for help. One man called the Park Rangers, who said they were not in the business of rescue. He found another man, with a small rubber dinghy who was ready to row out to the woman. At that moment, the Coast Guard arrived and would not allow the attempted rescue, because the man did not have enough life-jackets on board.

If only the elderly woman on that tiny strip of sand had stripped naked and done a suggestive hoochee-koo. She would not have had to wait for the ebb tide or suffer from hypothermia.

In international news, Angelina Jolie gave birth to her twins. Mother and children are doing well. Seconds after they were born, the twins were handed to Brad Pitt, who reportedly hugged them to his naked chest. Into the world through Angelina’s legs and then placed on Brad’s chest! What a charmed life those children already lead! I am happy for them, and yes, just a little jealous.

The Jolie/Pitt blessed event augers well for the beginning of Gay Family Week here in the town of P. We are just coming to the end of the first ever Girlsplash! Week. The organizer hopes that it will grow as big as October’s Women’s Week. Lynette Molnar says, “In a few more years, it will be like Women’s Week but without the Polartech.” Pool parties, whale watches, and dance parties were some of the highlights.

I am all set for Family Week. After the big GLAAD summer party at the Pilgrim Monument, where I will be their honorary auctioneer, I will go pick up the two zip kids I have rented for the week. I am on a waiting list for what they tell me is a “babe-magnet” adorable six month old girl named Karla. I’ve already got a double wide stroller fully loaded. For me it also doubles as a walker.

The most wonderful part of the week is the tons of teen kids of gay parents. They are feisty, smart, political, very fashionable and they love being with each other. This summer is my 84th season performing in Ptown. Thanks to their gay parents, the way these kids are maturing, I can retire happily in a few seasons.

Wildcatting

KateClinton — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:34:00 GMT

It’s a beautiful day here in Ptown and we were out at Herring Cove and some of the gals were in their beach chairs. It was low tide. We were talking, just idly letting the sand sift through our fingers. Well, one thing led to another and before you know it, we were all wildcatting for oil. Anyone can do it now, because George “the pusher” Bush issued an executive order lifting the ban on offshore drilling. He treats SUVs like SVUs.

Pretty soon everybody was staking claims and getting pretty mean. Especially the babes from Texas. It’s in their blood. There will be blood. They could care less about piping plover nesting grounds. They ripped down our one and only windpower windmill, and started using the blades for deep digging and swatting other prospectors away. I don’t know if they’ll get their rigs up before Rosie and Kelli’s R Family Love Boat gets to town on Thursday, but I sure hope the wildcatters have the decency to hang some lanterns to alert boats. I think it’s a law of the sea. But the land, like Lucy, is lawless.

Ptown is a sanctuary city. We grant asylum to anyone who jumps ship and wants to stay. But I think the RFamily Barge should worry about stowaways. Like me. Don’t get me wrong, everything is going great this summer. After all, it’s Bear Week here, not Bear Stearns Week. But after the incendiary and insulting “satiric” New Yorker cover with Michelle and Barack Obama, Bush’s incoherent press conference, CA bank failures, and John McBush supposedly rising in the polls, I might have to get on my Navy Seal drag, hop a tender and stowaway with Captains Rosie and Kelli.

And then leave my cell phone on and mess with the ship’s navigation system and head due south. Brazil, here we come!

My Favorite Lesbian NightClubs in LA

JuliePhineas — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 03:49:00 GMT

Okay ladies, here I find myself on the Friday night before the Los Angeles Gay Pride Festival, and I am wondering what all the lesbians are doing tonight! Most of my friends are out partying it up this weekend, but I am home tonight getting ready for a night out tomorrow. I love to get dressed up and go out dancing after dinner and some drinks. My wife knows all the good spots and usually chooses where we go, and over the years I have developed my favorites.

Since I live in Southern California, there are a few gay clubs and lesbian bars in my area, and the closest spot to me that I like is The Executive Suite in Long Beach (website). This is a longtime favorite spot for a Saturday night, and for the LGBT community to get together and party before and after the Long Beach Gay Pride Festival.

I also like Club Ripples which has two different dance floors and a karaoke area for those that are interested in showing their vocal talents(website). I prefer Friday nights at Club Ripples which is referred to as Debra's @ The Beach. Check out Debra's MySpace page here for pics.

If we just want to have a drink and play some pool, then we head on over to Club Broadway (link). We used to like to go to Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach because it was right next to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles which is always good at 2am when you've had a bit to drink. There is a Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood (link) that you could check out, which offers more entertainment and food choices.

Also out in Los Angeles and Hollywood area is The Palms Bar which has a nice size dance floor and friendly bartenders (website). The Palms is also located right near a secure parking garage which is good. We have fun at Girl Bar and have also been over to Circus Disco, but they do play a lot of club music and I am more of a hip hop fan.

My favorite spot is on Tuesdays and whenever my wife and I can get away on a Tuesday this is a guilty pleasure of ours. Michelle's XXX, also known as Peanuts, is a sexy spot for lesbians to dance, drink, and watch Michelle's girls put on a great show. If you've never been to Michelle's XXX, you really don't know what you're missing. All I can say is that the ladies at Michelle's XXX leave visions in your mind you will cherish forever. *wink* Michelle's XXX also hosts the LA Gay Pride After Party so be sure to check out their website if you are heading out to that this weekend. You can also find Michelle's XXX on MySpace here. Michelle's XXX does offer Club Sexy on Saturdays every so often, so be sure to add yourself to their mailing list if that is something are interested in.

If you are out here in Los Angeles and you do see me out and about with my wife at the club, be sure to stop me and say hi and buy me a drink!!! hahaha I'm excited to go out this weekend and get my party on, and I hope that the rest of the ladies here in So Cal who are partying for pride are having a blast and staying safe. Always designate a driver ladies, and be sure to buckle up! Thanks for reading and Much Love! ~Julie Phineas~

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.

Snakes On A Plane

KateClinton — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:47:00 GMT

Trifecta news day – the man who played Bozo the Clown died; a transgendered man in Oregon gave birth to a baby girl; Jesse Helms died of “natural causes” in North Carolina at the age of 86.

The man who told his friend Orrin Hatch that he was going to sing Dixie to Carol Moseley Braun until she cried, who delivered his state to a lagging Ronald Reagan in the Republican primary, who loved all things Pinochet, who chaired the Foreign Relations Committee, who was a vile and constant homophobe has finally died.

In 1984, I went to Raleigh-Durham to perform at a benefit to raise funds to help defeat Helms in his third Senate re-election bid. Liz Snow, an old friend from Syracuse, New York, who worked at Ladyslipper Records, picked me up at the airport and briefed me on Helms sleaze campaign stories as we drove to the hall.

As we clunked along in Liz’s mini-truck, in the middle of a particularly horrific race-baiting story, at the last second we saw what we both thought was a huge log across the road. A second before we hit it, we saw that it was a huge snake. Liz gunned it and screamed, “It’s Jesse Helms!” We flew through the air like a Dukes of Hazzard car chase scene. Helms was a snake, a huge speed bump to progressives in the South and the nation. Good-bye, Jesse Helms. Let’s hear it for natural causes.

Happy Independence Day!

The Itch to Hitch

KateClinton — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Happy Summer Solstice!! And Merry Christmas while I’m at it because that’s how fast tempus is fugiting.

It’s Day #14 of my Hillary withdrawal. For at least seventeen months, I saw her every day, knew where she was going, who she was having dinner with - now nothing. It feels like a sad, if amicable, breakup. Now we have to start seeing other people. Sigh.

Perhaps the biggest shock upon coming out of the Democratic primary bubble is to realize that I had been lulled into thinking that everybody was now trying to work in an adult, democratic, progressive, civic manner. Silly me.

Out in the unreal world of Bushland, George and John McBush, his mini-me, want to drill their bits into every inch of Mother Earth. They are squeezing the last little bit of speculative oil out before His Category 43ness leaves. They are back to photo-oping on broken levees. They are ignoring Iraq’s ungrateful but fond wish for us to leave, now that it’s going so well. [‘For whom?’ being the unasked question.] They are spreading manure lies about Barrack HUSSEIN Obama’s religious beliefs. They are going after Michele Obama who is resisting their demands for an extreme makeover.

In short, they got nuthin’ but fear and hate, their two favorite cards.

Happily, I’ve been following a different Haight. Despite the flagrant flaunting and taunting from CA friends, “Sooooo, when are you two getting married?” my gal pal and I recently reconfirmed our own vows not to marry. We do however, vigorously support the freedom of others to marry.

While we don’t have the itch to hitch, we can’t get enough of our friend’s lovely stories of all the weddings in CA. With gas at $4.65 a gallon in LA, I encourage newlyweds to locate their bridal registries at the local gas station.

And na na na na na na, back at you CA – one word: Celtics. And so much for that illusion of grownup behavior.

Our Empirical State is making progress. When Governor David Patterson issued an executive order that NYS must recognize out-of-state marriages, he spoke lovingly of the early influence of his two gay uncles, Stanley and Rodney. Rev. Al Sharpton teased him that he might have unwittingly outed them. Patterson said he was only disappointed that Rosie O’Donnell hadn’t called him. With any luck, Paul Rudnick is already writing a sequel - In and Out, Part II. I’m working on Same Sex in the City.

Happy Summer of Love! What do you want for Christmas, besides a First Lady Obama?

California Marriage - Think Twice

LGBTMediator — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:24:00 GMT

1. Anyone from anywhere can get married in the State of California now, same-sex or straight – you do not need to be a resident of California and or of the United States; licenses will be granted and you have to marry within 90 days of receiving the license.

2. There is no guarantee that your California marriage will be recognized anywhere else;

3. However, it is important to note that if you get married in California and you live where your marriage is not recognized by that US State or by the Country where you reside, it will be impossible to divorce in your home State (except New York, Massachusetts, Canada, and some other countries) and it will also not be possible for you to come back to California for a divorce unless you reside in California for six months preceding the Petition for divorce. So while there is no residency requirement for a California marriage there is a residency requirement to terminate the marriage.

IMMIGRATION and travel from another Country to the United States for the purpose of marrying a US citizen:

This is where the great injustice and anomaly prevails; whereas immigration law, under Federal jurisdiction provides for straight spouse to petition for a “fiancé visa” and green card for a spouse, same-sex marriage is specifically denied any and all rights under Federal immigration law, as it is enacted in the Defense of Marriage Act, that “marriage can only be between a man and a woman.” So essentially one can marry a person from a different country, have shared custody/ parentage of children born in the US and yet nothing protects the foreign spouse from deportation if he/she breaks legal status and is here illegally. There are many thousands of US citizens in gay and lesbian relationships unable to petition for their partner. There is a Bill before Congress called the Unity of American Families Act (UAFA) but at this time its support is minimal. People should inform their representatives about the hardship this causes US citizens and the children.

If you are planning to come to the US to marry an American in a same-sex marriage:

1. You will need a visa to get into USA. An immigration lawyer can help you determine which type of visa may be available to the foreign partner. Student and other special visas may be available; however one should consult with an immigration attorney before deciding how to enter as it is often very difficult to make changes once in the US.

2. If the immigration authorities find out that a visitor or student visa holder is planning on marrying here, they will probably not let the person into the Country. Most people are questioned by immigration authorities when entering the US. The questions can be tricky. A visitor’s visa requires a specific intention to go home. If the officer believes you are here for any other purposes or in attempting to stay in the USA, it is likely that the person will be put back on a plane and sent home.

Bi-national couples suffer severe hardship in the USA and remain at risk if they marry, because marriage shows that the foreigner had no intention of leaving the country. Hopefully the US congress and sponsors of the UAFA will do more to promote it.

Bottom line, think twice as if you marry you may be acting in a manner that is prejudicial to your ultimate immigration goals. Second bottom line, be sure to get legal advice from an expert when taking action that impacts your legal life.

Big Love Trumps Mr. Big

KateClinton — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:25:00 GMT

Clinton Gals and Obama Gals, why can’t we all get along? Let’s take a cue from the gals in Sex and the City.

You might have missed the opening week of SATC because you were consumed with the last installments of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit. I know I was. But it’s hot out. At least go for the air conditioning. And the pleasure of sitting in a theater packed with 85% women and the gay men who love them.

Iron Man. Indiana Jones. The dude flicks of summer’s standard “Women as After-thought Film Festivals” are usually packed with men and a few of the women who love them. No reviewer ever sniffs about that audience.

The preposterism of the ‘stylized violence’ [whatever that means] of those bummer schlockbusters made passersby in Harford, CT fully expect that the hit-and-run victim sprawled before them could get up, dust himself off and go about his day. That’s my theory.

As my SATC date [with whom, coincidentally, I have same-sex in the city] and I surveyed the satisfied, post-Sex women streaming out, in a din of high happy voices, we both thought, “What a missed organizing opportunity!” NOW should have sign-up tables in all multiplex lobbies. LATER should too.

That Fab Four loves each other! More Big Love than Mr. Big. Like sister-wives without the Mormon front-loaded hair or the prairie dresses. Unless of course it was a Frontier FLDS Fashion Week in New York.

For such a relentlessly heterosexist chick flick it was more lesbian than L-Word. And I love that the lesbian who doesn’t play one in this movie or on TV, has the steamiest, most alabaster skinned, and way too brief, sex scene. Can’t wait for the DVD extras.

Yes, they are white and rich. Yes, they marry because they can. Certainly those pre-conditions can smooth the way for friendship. But sometimes they don’t. For Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte it works because they talk. Male critics say endlessly. The friends speak their unspeakables. They forgive each other. They go on. They are there for each other.

Obama and Clinton gals – let’s get it on! And get on with it.

My Lesbian Wedding Part Two: Plotting and Planning

JuliePhineas — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 03:54:00 GMT

There is a mass wedding for same-sex couples being held at 7pm on Tuesday June 17 at the Gay and Lesbian Center in Long Beach, which is close to my neighborhood here in Southern California.

With two children, a teenage sister, two cats and a dog named Buddy living with us, the plotting and planning of our lesbian wedding is getting complicated. We've had to discuss and decide on many important things as a couple and as a family in the past few weeks such as, should we get married at a mass wedding? Do we add homophobes we're related to on our guest list? Do we even want to get married under these circumstances, knowing we might have to tell our children our status was taken away in November?? Let me tell you friends, it has been an 'emotional rollercoaster' these past few weeks. Dealing with the different aspects of the plotting and planning of my lesbian wedding have left me physically tired yet even more determined than ever to marry Gina because she is the love of my life and the one woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. At this point, after all the drama, Gina and I have decided to keep it simple.

After we found out that we had rights, we were extremely excited and we told the family and friends that were closest to us and had shown us support all these years.

What was very surprising was the reaction happened to be a very mixed reaction, rather than a united front of congratulations. I felt like some of our very dearest family and friends still viewed us as ‘second class citizens'. We were very hurt and I’ve done a lot of crying lately. Writing the guest list became an emotional event, and it really scaled back the plans that we had. Our first thought was to of course go all out and have a big wedding. Finances combined with the need to marry by November crossed that off the list and the next option was a small ceremony with about 100 guests, possibly in a banquet room at the local Marriott, with cake and champagne afterwards, plus apple cider for the kiddos. Our guest list has about 100 people that are just close family, so we had to cut out a lot of other people from the list at that point. We decided we would take a nice photo on our big day and send out announcements to the people that we couldn’t invite.

Then another reality set in - our families are not going to help us with the cost… we’re on our own here!

When I think about it, I just spent a ton of money defending myself in family court where I got totally financially screwed because I am gay (there’s no other way to put it!); and I’ve also spent a ton of money to secure my children’s future plus change my last name because those things don’t come with a domestic partnership. Plus I have to go back and appeal the family court ruling, file a complaint against the judge, and request transcripts too… it gets very expensive! Looking at our final guest list, we realized we were inviting people who we know don’t support our relationship just because they are closely related. It really made me feel like I was about to put my household in a financial bind to make sure that every body else, including those who don't support our relationship, would have a nice time on our big day. Sorry friends, but I just can’t bring myself to do that!

This was a nice change for us because we were able to let go of a lot of the stress of planning a big wedding in such a short amount of time.

We decided we would keep things small and just do a civil ceremony at the County Clerks office. I looked into the website for the Los Angeles County Clerks office , and found that we can apply for our marriage license online after 5pm here on June 16, and then we can pick it up as early as 8am on June17th. We can schedule an appointment for our ceremony at the time that we pick up our marriage license, and we are hoping that we will be able to get married the same day. The County Clerks office in Norwalk is where we will be going to pick up the license since there is no appointment needed, and they will be performing same sex wedding ceremonies that day until 8pm on a first come, first serve basis (article). Each of the County Clerks offices in California is handling the event differently, for example the clerks office in Bakersfield which is opting simply to not marry anybody anymore, gay or straight (article). The County Clerks office in Nevada City is planning to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples starting 8am on June 17th (article), while the county clerks office in San Francisco has pulled some strings to start doing so at 5:01pm on June 16th. They are asking couples to BYOB – bring your own bell – wedding bell that is! You can read more about that here. Plus here is an article with “Reader questions and answers on gay marriage“ by the LA Times, and an article titled “What Do I Need To Know About Getting Married In California?” on the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center website here .

In the meantime, Gina and I are getting ready to put on some white and head down to the Clerks office on Tuesday.

We’ve started an online wedding registry here which donates to the Equality for All Campaign. Any couple can register online here. We’re getting ready mentally to handle our big day and become Mrs. and Mrs. Phineas, even though we’ve lived as though we are married for about 5 years now. Some of our friends and family have been asking us what we plan to do, and there have been a few opportunities to have our ceremony on TV. In the midst of everything we are trying to stay connected and focused on our family and home life. After all of the details are worked out, the bottom line is that we love each other, and we want to protect our wishes in regards to our relationship and family with the marriage rights that we deserve.

Both Gina and I have come a long way from wanting the big flashy wedding in front of everybody, to simply cherishing a hugely symbolic moment in time that is shared only between me and her.

We are getting the wedding jitters but we are committed to each other and our life together so any talks of prenuptial agreements, divorces, and even bucking the establishment by not getting married were met with laughter and a kiss. After an initial shock of the reality of it all, and going through the pre-wedding planning in such a short amount of time, we are still committed to spending the rest of our lives together. Since there is no big wedding to worry about, we are just spending these few days preparing our minds, scheduling the babysitter, and deciding how we’re going to do our hair. Let the naysayers say what they will, but we are moving forward with our love and our life together, and Tuesday we hope to take the final step towards equal rights for our relationship together. I’ll definitely keep you posted, when I post part three of My Lesbian Wedding… Our Big Day!

Until then, thank you for all of the congratulations that I have received and for the well wishes on our big day!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.

Mazel Tov

LGBTMediator — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Some history: My dad, a traditionalist and devout Jew, 78 years of age, fit as a fiddle and too handsome to handle, a wife nineteen years his junior, prides himself on his tan his physique and his ability to accept his gay daughter and her family. With his grandchildren his pride and joy, it is sad that we only see him once to twice per year as he lives so far away in South Africa. However we speak at least once a week and are indeed very close. In our family we have had many an opportunity to yell ‘mazeltov’ when receiving celebratory news.

Breaking the news: (dialogue)

ME: Hi Dad, howzit? (South African for ‘How ya doin?’)

DAD: Great Mel what about all of you?

ME: Dad, Dorit and I are getting married in Temple on the July 27th pursuant to the legalization of gay marriage in California.

DAD: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Yells)

ME: (my reaction was to laugh in at the fragility of his emotion of overt and flagrantl shock and horror.)

ME: Dad, what’s wrong?

DAD: Why are you doing this Mel?

MEL: We have been together for so long; now finally we can catch up to the rest of the World and have some rights for us and the kids!

DAD: Mel it is freezing here what’s the weather like there?

I am able to find this funny, certainly at my wise age, and cannot hold this reaction against my dad as like for many traditionalists this may be quite a shock. He called me back to say that he knew it should happen one day but that he never believed he would be around to see it. I took that to be worthy of a big ‘mazeltov’ from me to him.

Do You Have to Go?

KateClinton — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:33:00 GMT

This is the first Tuesday after the Democratic primaries and it is blistering hot in New York. For days it had been rainy and cool and then suddenly, perhaps because it’s the last days of school, and god is a harsh school-mistress, the weather broke hot like blazes.

We had been out of town, there was no food in the apartment and we were trying to beat the heat. I was heading to the grocery store. My girlfriend was trying to ride the subway before temperatures on the platform reached Hades levels. It was early. We had been awakened by the sound of our a.c. laboring like a jet engine at the end of a runway.

We stopped for a quick breakfast at our local diner. After eating much too fast, I handed the check and my credit card to the owner at the cash register. He asked, “Do you have to go?” He says it to everyone, eyes twinkling over the half glasses teetering crazily on his nose.

Then for the first time, he noticed my last name on the credit card.

“That woman,” he grumbled, “she is my neighbor up in Chappaqua and she’s not nice.”

“Why? What did she do?”

I was thinking all the cable trucks and secret security details must be a pain in the neighborhood.

“I said hello to her once on the street and she ignored me. She’s no good.”

We had to go.

Already I had read some article with dire advice from other also-rans about how to handle the depression that is to come. My local NOW chapter has told me to send her a letter of thanks for all she’s done. What are they, my mother? Of course, I thank her. I'm just not going to bug her for a few days.

On this hot, ordinary Tuesday morning, I hope Hillary Clinton slept in, put on her bathrobe, padded downstairs for coffee, in her own hair with no makeup, didn’t read any papers or watch any TV and maybe just sat quietly and watched peonies bloom in the back yard.

Carpooling on the Straight Talk Express

KateClinton — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 03:14:00 GMT

Newsflash:
You are not going to believe this! I just got a call from that darling Caroline Kennedy on the Obama v-p search team, and she said they need a 60 year old white woman, last name Clinton. Just not that one. Would I be her stunt double? Kidding.

Hillary can’t win. She can’t even win for losing. The night Obama finally hit his lucky number, she wasn’t gracious enough for some of the prissy Miss Manners of the press. They wanted groveling, sackcloth, ashes, rending of garments, tearing out of hair. Tears, maybe.

No wait, not the tears! She might accidentally win another primary. Jesse Jackson dawdled Michael Dukakis for days. Come on.

The night of the last primaries, she won, but lost. She said she wasn’t ready to concede, you hideous sexist pigs. She didn’t say that last part. Some day I’d love to have a boilermaker, or eight, with her, up at the house in Chappaqua. She’d be doing her hobbies: scrapbooking the campaign, decoupaging war endorsements, gelding Bill and Terry. We’d be talking.

But I’m projecting. Compared to me, she’s the nice Clinton. Bitter? You want bitter? I could give you bitter. But I don’t have time.

As I have said, I am a Democratically fluid adult. I will go to the polls with the candidate we have, not the one I wished to have.

Far be it for me to step on anyone’s smile. Congratulations Barrack Obama! May you wage as brilliant a presidential campaign as your primary campaign.

Beware the pundits. They need their jobs, so they’ve got to make up stories. Set your own timetable as you have with your vice presidential choice. And we all know girls don’t ask boys to dance. Duh.

Do not ride the Straight Talk Express bus. John McCain will say “my friend”. You are not. Karl Rove is the bus driver. You’ve got the money. Do not carpool with McCain. They will make you sit in back.

The pundits have said, so it must be true, that Obama has to win white non-college educated voters. Well then, how about giving them no-strings tuition and sending them to college? But they have to guarantee they stop watching FOX news.

Already I heard one pundit say that if Obama wants to win, he’s going to have to muzzle his wife. Once again, cynicism humps my leg.

He Sees Gay People

KateClinton — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:58:00 GMT

After my Memorial Day run at the Crown and Anchor in Ptown, I took a lovely local nine-seater CapeAir plane into Boston for the 27th Annual MA Bill of Rights dinner. The pilot was in training and kept reading the laminated instruction list. It was a quaint reminder of early flight.

But if you want to meet some real risk-takers, look no further than the honorees at the ACLU dinner. The founder of Boston’s Wainright Bank, committed to progressive lending and minority ideals, disproves the real current mantra, “When banks compete, you lose.” While Errol Morris’s film Standard Operating Procedure is certainly not what you’d call a date movie, he deserved the recognition for telling the back story of Abu Ghraib. Ironically, on the same day of the release Scott McClellan’s belated tell-all book What Happened, Watergate’s John Dean, was honored for his work. I asked him to please thank his son, Howard, for his good job rebuilding the Democratic Party.

MA ACLU also honored the twenty years of work of their legislative director, Norma Shapiro. The diminutive, Jewish grandmother strong-armed the Catholic boys of the Legislature into passing gay marriage in MA. Talk about a vein of iron. Lots of attendees got me aside and whispered, “She knows where the bodies are buried.” I bet she knows the whereabouts of fugitive Whitey Bulger.

And then it was off to San Fransisters and the NCLR Gala Dinner. And more about gay marriage They were partying and celebrating the lifting of the ban on gay marriage in CA before they go off to fight yet another costly ballot initiative. I wondered why we can’t sue the fundamentalists for harassment. The NCLR lawyers told me they couldn’t and that you can’t initiate a ballot to get rid of ballot initiatives. Dang.

Two of the marriage plaintiffs, and my good friends, Jeanne Rizzo and Pali Cooper took me to a Giants Game at their lovely in-town stadium. It was Until There’s a Cure Night at the park and the SF Gay Men’s Chorus did a mini-concert before the game. The crowd cheered them and long time city pol, and comic, Tom Ammiano who read a declaration from Mayor Gavin Newsom. We’ve come a long way since 1981. The Giants lost in extra innings, but we were long gone because it was a gusty 42 degrees and I did not have on my stadium hot pants.

I kicked off Gay Pride Month, by appearing in the True Colors Tour lineup at Radio City Music Hall: The Cliks, the Indigo Girls, Regina Spector, Rosie O’Donnell, the B52s and finally Cyndi Lauper still kicking her eight octave range. I pinch myself.

After the craziness of CA, and I must say there was some flaunting and taunting – “So when are you and yours coming out her to get married?”- it was great to be back in New York, where Gov. David Patterson issued an executive order that NY State must recognize out-of-state, same-sex marriages. After Gov. Spitzer and Patterson’s own revelations about his marital excursions, it might be that NY doesn’t actually recognize in-state, same-old-sex marriage.

Nonetheless it was a proud moment. Patterson said that when he was little, whenever his parents went out, they would leave him with his uncles Stanley and Rodney. They played cards with him and helped him with his homework. Because of that early and formative familiarity, though legally blind, he sees gay people.

Bloggers Raise Awareness for LGBT Families

JuliePhineas — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:44:00 GMT

Today is the 3rd Annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day and throughout the day you will find blogs across the internet posting in support of LGBT Families.

Each blog who posts in support of Blogging for LGBT Families Day is listed on the list of contributing posts in an effort to raise awareness for LGBT families and the blogs who support them. This event is brought to you by The Mombian Blog which offers “Sustenance for Lesbian Moms” and is sponsored by The Family Equality Council .

Posts are being added all day long, and so far there are some pretty interesting posts to check out.

Here is a list of my favorites so far:

Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Laws for LGBT Families with Children - link

Alabama Blue Dot: Family by Fate and by Choice - link

BlogHer - Denise: Blogging for LGBT Families Day: Just like you, except for the hate thing - link

Cheryl’s Mewsings: Introducing COLAGE - link

Damn Straight: Not really an issue … until it is an issue - link

Parenting Beyond the Pale: Coming Out’ at Costco - link

3 Garzas & La Gringa: Family Day …Every Day - link

You can find the entire list of contributing posts here, which is being updated throughout the day.

You can find the entire list of contributing posts here, which is being updated throughout the day.

If you would like to participate in the 3rd Annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day to help to raise awareness and show support for LGBT Families, simply post an entry on your blog and send the link to lgbtfamilies@mombian.com. Also be sure to visit the list of contributing posts for more blogs like this one who support the rights of families in the LGBT community. There are some great blogs showing support this year so you'll find some new favorites to add to your feeds and bookmarks. A special thanks to Mombian and The Family Equality Council for putting this web event together, and for helping to raise awareness for LGBT families around the world!

About the Author: Julie Phineas is a work at home mom of 2 who lives in Southern California. You can find out more and view her photos by visiting her page on MySpace.